‘Damn it! How long, Dee? Tell me!’ Darius demanded forcefully. ‘A year, I’ve been seeing him a little under a year.’ Deidre answered softly. ‘Look, man. We didn’t want this to happen. It just-‘ Jason tried to explain. ‘Shut up, Jason. Shut the fuck up.’ Darius yelled. Grabbing his head with both hands, Darius bent low at the waist. He knew, deep down he knew there was someone taking his place. He moved away from them, not trusting himself to refrain from striking Jason. Jason stepped back. He knew Darius was close to breaking. Darius walked away from him and sat in his brother’s car. He needed to breathe, to think, to get a handle on this news. He knew this was his punishment for hurting his friend. He wished he’d simply gone to prison, that would have been a lot less painful, but this was the pain he had to bear. Derrick saw and felt his brother’s devastation and knew he could not fix this. Darius sat in his brother’s car rocking back and forth thinking,I’ve lost her. Now my girls. Not even Paul, who is away for a meeting. By the time he comes back, all the marks will be gone. I cry and cry. Parker lets me cry without interruption until only intermittent sobs shake my frame. He has his first and only nice, spontaneous gesture to me. He brings some Kleenex and puts them to my nose. With his help, still spread-eagled, I manage to blow my nose. I try to smile at him."Thanks" I whisper.He moves behind me. I can no longer see him. He waits for my signal. He will not start until I ask him to. The cruelty of this is incredible. For every phase of my torture, for every area of my body that is to be whipped, I must ask for it; to make me a willing accomplice, no, an instigator, of the torture that will fall upon me. I can barely speak, but I must; otherwise I may hang here until the morning. I gather whatever willpower I can muster."Please whip my back" I hear myself say.The bullwhip cracks. It hits just below my neck, across my shoulders. The tip flicks the side of my.
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